I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
