And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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