That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
