I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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