Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
