Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
