big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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