you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
