if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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