Just cropdusted the office
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
