apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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