Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
