I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
