rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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