what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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