I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize