Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
