he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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