I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I bet he comes in French.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
