I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
