I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The best revenge is premature balding
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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