Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
