i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
