hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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