you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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