just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
