you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
