in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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