oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize