I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
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It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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