But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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