Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
