what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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