my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
