I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
