Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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