It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
