So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we made out on top of his cat.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
