I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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