I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize