i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
