the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just want to make out with him forever
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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