I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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