His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it's great music for shaving your balls
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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