he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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