thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
