Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
