i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
