i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I smell stomach acid.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
