true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize