i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
