remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
