Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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