At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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