You really coming over, don't trick.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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