I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
