Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
