Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
