can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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