he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
