everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
