Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
