Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
