Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
