I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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