end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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